Sasuke Sarutobi the Naughty Ninja
by Lumi75
Summary: Sasuke has had enough of his danna hollering “OYAKATA-SAMA!” and decides to put his Shinobi sleeping gas to good use. Sasuke x Yukimura


Disclaimer: Characters belong to CAPCOM.

Japanese Terms:_ If Shounen means Boy, Shonen-ai means Boy's Love. If Seinen means Man, Seinen-ai means…?_ (guess ;P)

_Dango: _delicious toasted rice cakes on a stick.

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_Sasuke x Yukimura_**_  
_**

**_SASUKE THE NAUGHTY NINJA_**

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( ~~~ At the Takeda _yashiki_ (mansion) called Tsutsujigasaki at Kofu ~~~ )

-

Takeda Shingen, Lord of Kai, was seated on a stool with his two trusted aides kneeling before him. He praised them for their excellent service.

"Good work boys, our ally, Masamune Date-dono was very pleased with the help you rendered to his domain. Here's a reward from me. " He tossed a purple brocade purse on the ground, which landed with a heavy metallic clink. "Spend it any way you wish, go crazy, paint the town red. But be back by sunset, I have a banquet prepared for you two. Oh yes, and you, Sasuke-kun, please stay behind for a few minutes, I have something to say to you."

-

( ~~~ A few moments later~~~)

-

"OYAKATA-SAMAAAAAAAAA!!!", screamed Yukimura as he flew out of the courtyard. There was a splash from the riverside and a tremendous cacophony of squawks and beating wings as a flock of migratory geese decided to fly off to Russia a couple of months ahead of schedule. They'd had their fill of the daily disturbances whenever Yukimura was in residence.

"Yes, my lord, what is your command?" Sasuke walked over to the human-shaped hole in the floorboards and bowed. Takeda Shingen was buried in the hole, lying spread-eagled. Light glinted from the broad smile plastered on his face.

"Do you find Yukimura is a little...**_ immature_** for his age?" His mighty voice rumbled from within the darkness.

Sasuke coughed and smiled tolerantly. "Perhaps so, but I've grown so used to it I don't even notice."

"Well, neither did I, but did you hear what he said to me earlier?"

-

( ~~~ Rewind to a few minutes previously ~~~)

-

"Thank you, Oyakata-sama, but this is too much money! How can I accept your generosity, when I was only doing my job."

"That's all right, Yukimura. Save it for the future."

"But I don't need it, Oyakata-sama. All I need is food and lodging, and that's provided by the army."

Takeda chuckled at the naïve samurai. "Don't just think about yourself, Yukimura. Save it for your wedding."

"No Oyakata-sama! I'll never get married. I want stay by your side forever."

"You thoughtless Moron!" Shingen roared, planting a devastating blow into the red warrior's sun-shaped abs-protector and sent him sliding across the floor. "Life is not just about eating and fighting! If everyone in Kai was so one-dimensional, then our country would fall apart!"

"But Oyakata-sama!" Yukimura protested, jumping up and and running toward his leader. "A samurai must be brave and focused. If I get married, my fighting edge would be diminished!"

"BAKA!" An explosive connection from Shingen's fist to Yukimura's jaw sent the youth flying backwards and crashing through the shoji. "It is because you have to be stronger!"

Yukimura staggered to a kneeling position and grunted in pain.

"True strength is not muscles, it is strength of character! Only a mature samurai is the master builder of Kai, understood?!"

"Oyakata-Sama!" Yukimura cried.

"I call this "Planting trees in the Forest" Strategy. This is a tried and tested method to build anything. If I fail, Kai wouldn't even exist on the history books. But you and I can build anything!"

Tears welled up in Yukimura's eyes. "Oyakata-sama , I'm so ashamed of myself for not understanding the deep thoughts behind your order!" He rushed toward his leader, holding up both fists. "I will do as you say, I stake my life on it!"

Shingen nodded. "I'm counting on you, Yukimura!"

"Oyakata-sama!"

"Yukimura!"

The response hyped Yukimura all the more. "OYAKATA-SAMA!!" He yelled even louder.

"YUKIMURA!"

"OYAKATA-SAMA!!"

-

( ~~~ So it repeats endlessly ~~~ )

-

"Yare, yare," Sasuke sighed at the memory. "How could I forget, my lord. Even if I tried."

Takeda Shingen put one brawny hand at the edge of the floorboards, then another. Grr! With a loud grunt the bear-like warrior burst out of the hole, with a cloud of smoke and rain of debris.

"Sasuke-kun, " Shingen said, walking a few paces away, folding his arms and fixing his piercing eyes on the kneeling ninja. "Yukimura may hold a higher rank than you, but you have a higher intelligence than him. I'd like you to show him how to be a real man."

"A real man?" Sasuke blinked in surprise. "You mean…"

Shingen nodded solemnly. "Exactly. I call this "Woodpecker" Strategy. I trust you understand my euphemism."

"I beg your pardon, my lord?"

"In short, I don't like the way he's attracted to, no – obsessed by the One-eyed Dragon of Oshuu, Date Masamune-dono."

"I too, dislike the sly looks that man throws at danna-sama."

"All right. So we have an understanding…?"

Instead of sniggering as Takeda expected, Sasuke was oddly silent. He looked sad.

"What's wrong?" demanded Shingen.

"N-nothing my lord. I guess because I find his innocence so entertaining, it would be a pity to spoil it."

"Hahaha," Takeda Shingen roared in laughter. "Ah I see… you too, are still young. But I have confidence in you. I'll leave this matter in your capable hands."

"Yes my lord. And how long do I have?"

" By tonight."

-

( ~~~ Half an hour later, Downtown ~~~ )

-

Yukimura swaggered down the lane, wind blowing his red leather jacket open to reveal his toned chest. Girls who saw him squealed in delight. _Kawaii, kakkoii…_they whispered. _He's just like an adorable little puppy, oh kawaii des ne!_

Sasuke, as was his ninja habit, stalked Yukimura from a side alley. As usual, he began to roll his eyes when he heard the infatuated sighs of the village girls. He lied to himself, saying he couldn't understand what the fuss was all about. But oh wait, he has a job from Shingen, he ought to get busy. He walked up to the girls who had just squealed and made some small talk."By the way, he's single. He's hasn't even been hugged by a woman before. Keep this confidential, but his dad asked me to show him to the red-light district. Well that's just wrong if you ask me, so if you ladies have any views about it, why don't you write a message for him? I'll pass it to him and make sure he reads it."

A hush went over the girls, followed by musical peals of laughter."Sure, we'd love to write to THE Yukimura, but since you approached us so suddenly, we have no paper to write on."

"Ah", Sasuke looked around at the merchant shops. He could easily go in there to borrow paper, but something stopped him. "Hmph, never mind," he said lazily, handing them a wet brush taken from his brush kit. "Just write on my hand, and hurry."

So saying, he pushed down the sleeve of his camo-patterned sweater, exposing the smooth pale surface of his upper arm. The girl took up the brush and, with a lovely dreamy expression on her face, began writing her poem. Cold ink swirled on his skin, making him cover his mouth to stifle a smile. Her friends came up and wrote on his arm too. They laughed innocently, voices clear like tinkling bells. Sasuke finally became aware that they were gathered beneath a blossoming sakura tree. Tiny, single petals scattered in the wind, like snowflakes. Borne aloft by the spring breeze, the blossoms flashed white, pink, lavender, silver and gold. A piece stuck to Sasuke's nose, right on his facepaint and he crossed his eyes to focus on it. Everyone laughed, but to the surprise of the girls, Sasuke wiped a tear.

_Damn, what's come over me? I feel so nostalgic…rather than run errands for Shingen to set Yukimura up, I'd rather be walking with him instead._

_-  
_

( ~~~ Moments later, in a dark alley ~~~ )

-

"Yukimura…."

Sasuke held his arm under a dim patch of light in order to read the calligraphy squiggled on it. Then he hesitated. He gulped and resumed. "Yukimura…"

The pair were standing side-by-side in a narrow alleyway, surrounded by brick walls with no windows. Far from prying eyes.

"Yukimura, I love you." Sasuke finally blurted out, though it was only someone else's message he was reading, he blushed deeply and shot a shy look at his danna-sama.

"Oh!" Yukimura blushed.

The deep brown of his eyes became hazel in surprise. He was really pretty, Sasuke suddenly realized. What's wrong with me today? Sasuke criticized himself. He usually carried out every mission fastidiously, yet today…his heart simply wasn't into it, he was practically dragging his heels.

"Hey Sasuke…?"

"Sorry, danna-sama, I was distracted."

"It's all right. But…um…about this…love letter? So…what am I supposed to do?"

"You mean you've never gotten one before?"

"Uh…this is my…first…"

The words pierced Sasuke and he trembled for some unknown reason, he was thankful for the darkness of the alleyway for hiding his flush, for his face was burning. He coughed. "Well you have to write back to her, right?"

"Why of course!" Yukimura nodded vigorously. "Okay, I'll do it right away. May I borrow your hand for a moment?" He raised his arm close to his face, pressed his mouth close and Sasuke felt a hot, wet …_glomp?!_

"Hey yuck! What are you…?"

Yukimura grinned apologetically, rubbing and erasing the previous poem into a grayish smear. "Onegai! I'm sorry I have no paper! Please bear with me!"

Once more, cold black ink shimmered across Sasuke's ivory skin.

"_Lovers meet under the Sakura blossoms, but today _

_My time is reserved for my best friend, Sasuke."_

"Eh!?"

"Hehe, you're surprised right? I know I'm not very smart, but I do have my strengths." Yukimura spoke with conviction, eyes shining. "As Oyakata-sama said, a mature person has to "plant trees in the forest?" Well, I can do that, and I plan to do exactly that this afternoon. I'm buying twenty-one cherry saplings to plant and I want YOU to come with me."

"Actually, I believe Oyakata-sama meant it metaphorically."

"I know! He wants us to take care of the things around us, see—I do understand! That's why I wanted to hang out with you today. We don't often get such a chance, seeing as we're usually separated for our missions. But since you always watch my back, please let me take care of you for a change."

Yukimura bowed to Sasuke, pulled his wrist, and dragged them out of the alley, announcing that they were heading to the dango shop, his treat. A moment later he let go and the two started running down the street. They ran past graceful willow trees swaying in the wind, past plain wooden streetfronts. Gradually the facades changed to those red-painted lattices of busy merchant shopfronts, after a few more blocks, the red lattices became more fence-like, peering over the shoulders of the crowds milling in the streets, the pair could see teahouses seated with pretty, flirty girls with white make-up. A large number of "teahouse girls" stood outside the entryways, soliciting customers.

"Hey, samurai-sama, c'mon over and have a good time."

Two of them latched onto their sleeves, but Yukimura declined, offering polite apologies.

Remembering his duty to Shingen, Sasuke grabbed Yukimura's elbow. "Can't we go in there?"

"The teahouse?" A frown creased Yukimura's face. Although he was of drinking age, he avoided teahouses and bars. Their tasteless décor revolted him. He shook his head. "How about some other time," he demurred. "Today's my day off. I want to spend it outdoors, I was thinking of our usual spot on the hill we always go to."

"You don't get it, do you?" Sasuke forced a smirk. "Are you normal adult male? C'mon, tell me, which do you prefer, food or sex?"

"Huh? Well…." Yukimura looked from the girls, situated at his left, to the dango confectionary, on his right. Left and right, he looked.

The girls flirted and beckoned coquettishly, each gesture sending an intoxicating scent of peonies rustling from their bodies. "You in the red, you're so cute, just like a baby tiger!" The ladies burst into peals of laughter and tried harder to pull Yukimura. "Aww, your friend looks like he needs a friend," another lady flirted at Sasuke.

Acorss the street, the dango baker fanned his coals, sending tendrils of tantalizing fragrance rising from the rice cakes toasted over hot coals. "Dango, dango! Three for Three mon, Six for Five mon, Buy Nine get two free. Red bean, green bean, and transparent Glass Jelly Sakura Blossom special!! Dango, dango!"

"Food or Sex, Yukimura, what's your choice?"

"Mmmm…." His danna-sama looked left, and then right….left and right, index finger in his mouth. A flush spread over his face, the very image of a tempted child. The teahouse never stood a chance. In a flash, Yukimura had disappeared, his last words traveled in the wind.

"_Mmm, dangoooo!"_

After making his purchases, Yukimura came bounding back to Sasuke with a huge paper bag filled with rice cakes wrapped in salted oak leaves and a huge jar of sake. He made Sasuke follow him to the middle of a hill, climbing higher until they found a perch with a spectacular vista over the town, which was surrounded by magnificent snow-capped mountains. Though the mountain topography made travel difficult and cut Kai off from mainstream trade routes. The result of less industrial development meant that the mountain region was exceptionally clean and beautiful. Their usual spot was a clearing near to the mountain shrine. Today, it was abloom with wildflowers of spring, primarily small yellow clumps of winter jasmine. There was something exciting about crisp mountain air in springtime that attracts butterflies. They were out fluttering everywhere, dancing lightly from flower to flower. After their meal, they lay happily on the grass, hands behind their head, staring at the pure white clouds racing across deep blue sky. Yellow butterflies continued to flutter above them, and even higher above, the distant shapes of bats, sparrows and hawks. It was close to dusk, a magical moment that seems to send animals flying out of their hideouts to ride the peach colored breeze.

"Hey, one landed on my finger." Came Yukimura's voice from nearby, although his figure was hidden by the tall grass.

"Careful it doesn't stick to you." Sasuke chuckled.

"Aren't butterflies supposed to be the spirits of the dead?"

"And the living, also."

"Would you believe me if I told you this is all I want from life? What would I give to stay like this forever, even though I know it's not possible. Do you suppose I can come back to Kai again in the next life, to work for Oyakata-sama again and be your friend?"

"Sure, why not?" Sasuke's voice was nonchalant. "But we'd be strangers though. We'll have to start from scratch."

"Can't we decide on a code, so when we meet again, we'll remember who we were? C'mon you're a ninja, you guys must have some secret jutsu."

Sasuke shook his head, "Naw, those are rumors only."

"Well, Sasuke, I may not be very smart but I know a way," Yukimura sat up above the grass and leaned closer to him, big red eyes shining mischievously.

"Hmm? Really?"

"Give up?"

Sasuke scrunched his eyes. "All right."

"See over there?" He raised his index finger and pointed at a nearby grove. There were a group of mountain monkeys swinging from tree to tree. "Hello, your brothers are over there! And that's how I'd remember you."

Sasuke laughed. He sat up and put his hands around his knees. The sky had darkened considerably in a few fleeting minutes. Huge, blue shadows were falling across the mountain ranges, their monochromatic shades of blue washing upon blue resonated in deep silence. The halo of the sky was glorious, and the sun itself was red.

The ninja suddenly smiled."Ya know how I'd know you?"

"How?" Yukimura asked cheerfully, springing to his feet to catch the sun which had disappeared behind a hill from the lying position, but you could still see it standing up.

"By that big ball of fire, because it looks like your eyes."

So saying, Sasuke put a hand over his heart. He slowly turned his head and looked up at Yukimura, eyes narrowed and glittering. He couldn't see Yukimura's face; just his slim silhouette with red tails of his headband fluttering brightly from the light seeping through behind it.

For a moment, Yukimura gazed steadily down at Sasuke. He was surprised how good-looking the stalking monkey was beneath his camo-paint. His red hair caught the light like spun glass, the tips of them waving back and forth in time with the sea of wild grasses and wild flowers. His cinnamon freckles and green camo outfit blended so well into the natural surroundings. The slanting light brought out the fine shape of Sasuke's high cheekbones and cold, chiseled features, really well. Although Yukimura's noted all that, his wide eyes remained clear and calm, not much different as when he admired the lemon yellow powder sparkling from the wings of the butterfly. Thus, he was confused by the sudden flash of disappointment over Sasuke's face quickly replaced by a rueful grin.

Their minds were on totally different wavelengths… what could have been on Sasuke's mind?

-

( ~~~ Back at Takeda's mansion ~~~)

-

They returned to Takeda Shingen's banquet room in the mansion. It was only the three of them as Takeda wanted to make it special. "So, Sasuke…" Takeda asked, taking a moment to pull Sasuke aside. "How did it go? Success?"

Sasuke shook his head slightly, smiling ironically. "I don't think he caught my hints. But I will try later tonight and the night is still young…" Shingen raised an eyebrow, countered by Sasuke's subtle gesture of finger to lips.

Shingen shrugged and chortled heartily.

"You naughty monkey…" he whispered in a tone of amusement, wagging his finger and then stroking the whiskers of his bristling beard .

-

( ~~~ 20 minutes later, Shingen and Yukimura were high on sake and they began to yell "Oyakata-sama" and "Yukimura" like crazy. Little did they remember that the shadowy monkey had excused himself to go to the bathroom 10 minutes ago and had yet to return. ~~~ )

-

"Oyakata-sama!" Yukimura was yelling. "I'm so ashamed for thinking this way. I couldn't see the wood for the trees!" He leaped up from the indentation made by his body on the sand of the courtyard and dashed enthusiastically toward his leader. "I understand your feelings, I will carry out your wish!"

"Mmm, Yukimura." Shingen nodded approvingly, causing Yukimura to grasp both fists and cry out passionately, "Oyakata-sama!"

Neither of the samurai noticed that a ceiling board at a corner of the room had been shifted slightly and a bright white mist was diffusing slowly from a bamboo pipe protruding discreetly from the crack. They had been inhaling a colorless, odorless sleeping gas for the past 10 minutes since Sasuke left the room.

"Yukimura!" Shingen growled then opened his mouth widely into a monstrous yawn.

"Oyakata-sama!" Yukimura responded, swaying on his feet and dropping to one knee.

"YUKIMuuuurrrr…" Shingen rubbed his eyes, blinked then fell face forward into his sake cup.

"OYAKAta- saammm…." Yukimura had ran and reached his leader and collapsed on top of his mountain of a boss, breathing peacefully.

"zzzzzz, zzzzz…" snoozed Yukimura.

"ZZZZZZZ, ZZZZZZ" snored his boss thunderously.

"Adenoids", thought the ninja hidden in the ceiling.

The bamboo pipe was retracted and the ceiling boards perfectly replaced. A moment later, Sasuke entered the banquet room with some guards. "Tch, looks like they had too much to drink and passed out. You two, carry Oyakata-sama back to his bedroom. You, help me carry danna-sama."

-

( ~~~ A few minutes later, Sasuke has carried Yukimura back to his bedroom and blown the candle out. Now it is only the two of them in the dark ~~~)

-

Sasuke had lowered his body beside the sleeping Yukimura and stroked his hair. " I'm sorry for having to resort to this cheap trick, but I have to know the truth. I swear that if you don't like me, I will back off no matter how much it hurts." He grazed his face over Yukimura's neck for a moment, sensing the steady pulse, indulging in his fresh, clean scent which somehow reminded Sasuke of the fragrance of freshly roasted rice cakes. He fitted his lips over Yukimura's, licked it and sucked on the lower lip. To his surprise Yukimura's mouth opened and he kissed back passionately. "Mmmm, mmm," he murmured audibly, then pushed the shocked Sasuke to the bottom and hugged him happily. Sasuke was paralyzed by the unexpected power of the emotions rushing through his body. Does this mean his danna likes him back secretly? But he never knew that! Really, Yukimura? Would you like to be more than my danna, can we be more than friends? Sasuke strained to see Yukimura's expression in the dark.

Yukimura's lip cooed. "…go."

"Go?"

What did you mean danna? _Go on, tell me!! _Sasuke almost screamed.

"Don't go."

_Nandeto?! _Sasuke's eyes widened. How could he know it was him? There was still some time left before the soporific effects of the gas wore off. The guy was fast asleep…What could he be dreaming of and if so…why? He turned his face so that the shell of his ears faced Yukimura's lips and his danna's breathy whisper sent a tingle down his back. When he finally deciphered the mumbles escaping from Yukimura's lips, Sasuke's expression froze, his shoulders sank and his head hung miserably.

He stifled a sob.

Sadly, the rejected ninja pushed his danna away, pulled himself up the wall like a spider, shoved aside the ceiling board and crawled away. He felt defeated in battle but not the War. Definitely not. He wouldn't give up. Although he would have to report to Shingen tomorrow that he had failed in his mission…he refused to give up on his dream. "I guess shonen-ai is too much for me to expect from you. But I'd be waiting, Sanada Yukimura … for the day you understand the true meaning of "seinen-ai" Then I'd make you mine…"

Yukimura's last words still lurked his ears.

"_Mmm, Dango." _

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_FIN_

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A/N: SasuYuki ftw! Please Review, it'll make my day! :D


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